Cure Ailments The Natural Ways

Rather than heading straight for the nearest pharmacy each time you don’t feeling well, why not try some natural ways to assist you feel better.

If you have a headache, you can try some natural cures. Sometimes just taking a brisk walk can help a headache by helping your blood circulate. Some people say that a hot bath helps because it helps release muscle tension and help you relax.

Occasionally you get a headache because you are dehydrated. Try to drinking a couple of glasses of water and see whether that will helps. Another thing that can cause headaches is low blood sugar. Drink a glass hot lemon water with some honey and you will be amazed at how quickly your headache away.

If you have, a really bad headache find a dark room to lie down and alternate hot and cold washcloths to the area where the pain is located. Sometimes a headache can be caused because you have not eaten for too long. Why not try a nutritious snack and see if that helps.

To help a infant get over the hiccups, try a little bit of sugar on your finger and let them suck it off. For children and adults who have hiccups, try sipping water from a glass while laying upside down. You can also try holding your breath.

Whenever you suffer from heartburn, try staying away from spicy or fatty foods. A different thing that causes some people to get heartburn is garlic or onion. It’s also helpful to have several small meals a day instead of three big ones.

If you have, a problem with arthritis, ginger extract is a great natural anti-inflammatory. Willow is also known to help ease the pain. Of course, another great way to help with arthritis is to get some exercise each day to help make your joints stronger and help them move more freely.

You can help arthritis by staving off or cutting down on certain foods like dairy products, tomatoes, and red meat. Make a point of eating plenty of fruits and vegetables and get plenty of vitamin C and you will find that your joints will start feeling better in no time.

If you find yourself with an ache or pain, why not try searching your favorite search engine for tips to help you feel better. It is amazing how many good suggestions you can find online for just about any ache or pain.

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My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass ~ Leslie Grimutter

A Texan Size Joke

Some say laughing is healthy. It’s good to help you relax and reduce stress. This got to be the funniest joke I have ever came across so I am re-posting it here! Enjoy! If you can read this whole story without tears of laughter running down your cheeks… then there is no hope for you!

For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time the rodeo comes to town. It takes up a major portion of the parking lot at the Astrodome. The notes are from an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast.

Frank: “Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking for directions to the Budweiser truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, So I accepted”. Here are the scorecards from the event:

Chili # 1 Mike’s Maniac Mobster Monster Chili

Judge # 1 — A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2–Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 — (Frank) Holy ****, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that’s the worst one. These Texans are crazy.!!!!

Chili # 2 Arthur’s Afterburner Chili

Judge # 1 — Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2–Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 — Keep this out of the reach of children. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

Chili # 3 Fred’s Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili

Judge # 1 — Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.
Judge # 2 — A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 — Call the EPA. I’ve located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I’m getting shit-faced from all of the beer.

Chili # 4 Bubba’s Black Magic

Judge # 1 — Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 — Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 — I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out ones taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. She is starting to look HOT…just like this nuclear waste I’m eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac!

Chili # 5 Linda’s Legal Lip Remover

Judge # 1 — Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 — Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 — My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I’m burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks!!

Chili # 6 Vera’s Very Vegetarian Variety

Judge # 1 — Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 — The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 — My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped myself when I farted and I’m worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. She must be kinkier than I thought. Can’t feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

Chili # 7 Susan’s Screaming Sensation Chili

Judge # 1 — A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 — Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 — You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn’t feel a thing. I’ve lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava like crap to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they’ll know what killed me. I’ve decided to stop breathing, its too painful. Screw it, I’m not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I’ll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

Chili # 8 Tommy’s Toe-Nail Curling Chili

Judge # 1 — The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 — This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure he’s going to make it. Poor dude, wonder how he’d have reacted to really hot chili.